Perhaps you are asking yourself, “Nany, why Europe?”
Well, that was the same question I asked myself when God started directing me on that path. In my head, I always thought I would go to Bangladesh (not that I won't someday, if that's God's plan), because I've been praying for this country since I was 10 years old. I'm going to go back in time a little, to before the pandemic and be more vulnerable, so I'll give you a scenario of what's to come and which I want to take you along on this journey. For those who don't know yet, at the beginning of 2019, I left Shores of Grace, because I had burnout syndrome, an emotional disorder with symptoms of extreme exhaustion, stress and physical exhaustion, yes, a missionary is not a superhero!
This happened because, at first, I didn't accept the fact that my time there had ended, then I felt frustrated for not being able to meet the demand for work, take care of myself and the main thing, I didn't feel that God was with me there. When He had asked me to take a break, after all they were intense processes that needed a time-out to process, I sinned, because I let the ministry routine define my identity and it seemed that I no longer felt His presence and that was like death (the worst feeling I've ever felt). It was then, that together with the leadership, we decided that it was time to rest and switch off.
At that moment, I felt that it was all over, as if I had returned to the starting point, which in this case was my mother's house. I felt as if my ministerial life had come to an end. However, my mother reminded me of my calling, which was revealed right in childhood and if I were to go back to an office routine, God would be fine! Those words became a key.
At this time, the Holy Spirit guided me to move to another city and gather in a new church, where no one knew me, and thus take a sabbatical year. It was here that the call to Europe began, in fact it was where I realized it, as there were signs along the way.
I found a very private place in Bragança Paulista where I could seek God and think about Him like never before. Remember our trajectory and dive more into Him.
On April 25, 2020, the beginning of the lockdown, I started planning how to have a home office or work in a company. My thoughts were interrupted by God, recalling my mother's speech and with a subsequent sentence:
“IT'S WELL YOU DON'T WANT A MISSION, I UNDERSTAND. BUT MY WORDS ARE IRREVOCABLE AS IS YOUR CALLING! REMEMBER, WE HAVE PLANNED THINGS SINCE YOU WERE 8.”
I threw my face to the ground and started to cry, I said I was afraid of losing myself, of Him not being with me or reliving traumas (but what are these things around martyrs?), so I simply replied “I say yes, again God! I don't know how it's going to be, but I'll only go if it's with me!”.
A few days later, a Friend who is a pastor in Germany called me to teach her discipleship class. Several people living in Europe who hadn't spoken in years felt God's reconnection with me. And it hadn't touched me, until one day after a ride I stopped in front of the condo I'm living in to get the keys, I felt the Holy Spirit speak to my heart:
_Nany, when is the name of your condo?
I replied:
_ Euroville...
At that moment I started laughing and the feeling of “What's up with Holy Ghost?”
He asked again:
_What are the names of the streets of your condominium...?
And I think..
“Names of cities in Europe?”
He told my Spirit “Go back to your neighborhood entrance street”
I came back on the main street... What was the name of the street?
AV EUROPE
And the intersection streets were named after countries on the European continent, but the funniest fact is that the street that gives access to my condominium is called “Alameda Germany”.
I got home and it finally dawned on me – GOD GAVE ME PEOPLE FROM THERE AND NOW HAS LEADED ME TO LIVE IN A PLACE WHERE EVERYTHING IS POINTING THERE.
I just replied, “Okay, Dad. I'm with you on this…”
He replied: Make friends there, even if it's virtual (He gave me a small group made up of people who live in Europe, in our community we call it DNA).
He raised friends who graduated from BSSM to be intercessors.
Particularly I am studying German and it is a little difficult, but I already speak 3 fluent European languages: English, Spanish and Portuguese (of course!).
You must be asking yourself "Nany, don't you have a doubt?"
And the honest answer is: Yes, a lot of the time!
I'm going to tell you something very unusual, I'll even leave a photo here to prove it!
A few weeks ago a feeling came to me in which I asked the following questions:
“God, should I really go to Europe? Did I miss the "team"? Maybe it's just a call to intercession? Maybe I can take a route across the US? ” The spirit of self-indulgence was screaming.
That same week I was at the gym and I stopped by to watch the basketball game, love it! But something caught my attention. The teams were: Germany vs Russia. I started to laugh, because where I go I see the German flag. Something else caught my attention, the score 32X32 (For those who know me, you know that the Lord always speaks to me through repeated numbers). I said to myself “It's my age, Germany, Russia… Got it! Europe."
When I took the photo to send to a friend, I saw that the game's tem was set to 12.2
And the moment I saw it I remembered Romans 12:2
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
Then I thought, ok Heiliger Geist (Holy Spirit in German)
And in that, Heiliger Geist asked me a question “What is the 32nd book of the Bible?”
When I told him, it was Jonas. I recounted and gave Jonas.
I swear I was amazed and then came another question from Him
“What is written in Jonah 3:2?” Second part of the scoreboard 32X3:2
Arise, and go to the great city of Nineveh, and preach the message that I tell you against it. Jonas 3:2
Crazy isn't it? Yeah, my thoughts were like Jona's
s and God caught my attention through a game of Basketball. Well HE!
So, I'm in that moment, taking exams, raising offers, writing sermons.
Several missionary friends of mine who are in Europe say they don't have this “fire” of Heiliger Geist as we have here in Brazil and it sounds like an apostasy. Literally they say Europe needs revival, the Holy Spirit.
The prophetic words that our Brazilian nation comes
receiving are: Brazil is the nation that will lead the revival; you took the revival north; God is raising up a generation of women who will carry the revival.
So I believe that I'm fitting into that and that I'm going to take you on this journey with me, my brother and sister in Christ. I ask you to pray, so that the fire of the Holy Spirit consumes me more and more, that the compassion of Jesus for the people in Europe will create such deep foundations that I will be the reflection of the resurrected Love for everyone I meet there and that I can contemplate Abba taking it back home.
Love Nanny...